It Would Have Been You
by GingershotaTed
Summary: Prompt: Person B crying and screaming that they're sorry, believing they caused Person A's death. Person A's ghost at their side, helplessly trying to comfort them


**Picture this as a season 3 finale AU. Theo's evil, but Perry and Danny aren't. Carm's mom has been dealt with and Mattie's still dead, that kinda stuff.**

 **Saying this in advance: sorry, not sorry**

 **Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it.**

* * *

' _Oh god. Oh no. Nonononono please. This was not supposed to happen. How could I have let this happen? I'm such an idiot!'_

I look over to where LaFontaine and Perry stand- well, where LaFontaine stands holding Perry's body up as she buries her face in their shoulder. She can't bear to look at the sight before her. I look to Lawrence and my vision starts to get blurry. Why is it all getting blurry.

Danny stands there in between Kirsch and Mel who are just as stunned, they are guarding that _bastard's_ unconscious form. There are tears pouring down Danny's face and-

Oh.

Tears.

That's why it's getting hard to see. I bring a hand up to touch the wet tracks that travel down my cheeks. Leaving blood behind in the process. I try to keep my head up, to not look at where the blood is coming from but I seem to have no control over my body and I look down at my lap and there she is. Laying in my lap is the one I loved- the one I love. The one I fought _so hard for_ to keep her from meeting this fate and I failed. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry I failed you,

Laura.

* * *

I open my eyes to see a dark hallway, with a bright light at the end of it. I'm so confused as to what is going on. What happened? How did I end up here? These questions and so many more rush through my head as I try to piece together that puzzle. I look around but there doesn't appear to be any way out of here other than wherever that light leads into, so I start to walk towards it. But I am halted by a noise that sounds so familiar. I listen more closely; it sounds like it's coming through the wall. The noise sounds so familiar.

It's not a noise, it's a voice. As I get closer to the wall I'm able to hear what the voice is saying.

" _I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, Laura."_ The voice breaks on the last syllable of my name, like it's crying.

Carm.

That's Carmilla's voice, how could I have not recognized it before? Why is she crying?

I begin banging on the wall to get her attention. After a few more tries it's done nothing but make my hands raw from the stone wall. I try to look for another way to get to her but I don't see one, I bang on the wall, maybe someone will hear me this time. Then it happens.

Suddenly I'm met with the solemn faces of my friends. ' _How did-did I just go through the wall?'_

I try to get someone's attention. I try Kirsch first. Nothing. I move on to Mel and Danny, surely they'd tell me what's going on, but again, nothing. It's like I'm invisible. _'What's going on?'_

I look over to LaF whose holding Perry and staring straight ahead into another room with a grim look on their face. I decide to follow their stare.

I immediately regret that decision.

When I walk into the room, I see the devastating scene that played out in front of me. Carm's hunched over form is turned away from me so I can't see her face, or what she's hunched over.

I hesitantly walk further into the room, to get closer to her, But I quickly reel back when I say what's in her arms- or rather, who.

It's me. I'm in her arms. But…how is that possible if I'm standing right here?

It all comes rushing back Theo. He was raving mad. He looked like a rabid animal. He had a stake… and he was going straight for Carmilla with it. I ran in front of her.

Then it hits me. I'm lying in her arms. It explains why I couldn't get the others' attention.

" _I'm dead."_

"That's right little miss Lauronica Mars."

Mattie.

* * *

"Mattie, you're here, oh thank god. Can you please tell me what's going on?"

She smirks at me as I begin to get hysterical. "It's just as you said, darling. You're dead. This is what death looks like."

"This can't be it. This can't be all there is, just nothing, watching my friends grieve, watching _Carmilla_ grieve. I can't stand it."

She sighs. "Unfortunately it is. It's painful, but it's one of the passages of 'moving on'." I look up at her at that.

"So, you had to go through this when you died?" I ask her

"Twice." She corrects me, running her translucent hand through Carm's hair. "Although it was certainly more painful the second time. The first time I had died alone, I hadn't had anyone there to care about me."  
Tears spill from my eyes. "Please Mattie, you have to help me, I can't just stand here and watch this play out. There's gotta be something I could do, that you could do."

She's quiet for a moment.

"At least let tell her that it wasn't her fault. My death and yours weren't her fault-she needs to know that. Tell her that please."

She closes her eyes as if in thought and opens them to look at me.

"I can do you one better. You have ten minutes, Ereshkigal doesn't want to wait any longer for your soul. Come here." Hesitant to comply since it is Mattie, I step towards her and grab her outstretched hand.

* * *

A puff of black smoke surrounds us and when it clears we stand in the same spot. Coughing lightly, I look at her.

"What did that do?" I ask her, but she doesn't respond, she simply says "remember, ten minutes."

"Laura?" I hear a shaky voice ask, and turn to see a wide eyed LaFontaine frantically tapping on Perry to get her to look up, which she finally does. She lets out a small scream that draws the other three in the room over to look in. Danny's tall frame begins to shake as she makes her way over to me, resting her hand on my cheek. LaF and Perry rush over to Carmilla to get her attention in the meantime.

"It's really you." She says astonished. "Only for the next 8 minutes according to Mattie." I tell her.

During this encounter LaF and Perry are finally able to pull Carm away from the…. _my_ body.

"Laura…." She whispers, astonished. She scrambles up from her position on the ground and stumbles over to me. Once we're face to face she collapses in my arms.

"How…..?" She's at a loss for words, but I know what she wants to say. "It was Mattie." I tell her, helping her stand up more to look at her. She looks so distraught and disheveled. There's blood on her cheek that I wipe off along with tears, with my thumb.

"She…she convinced Ereshkigal to give me ten more minutes so I could see you."

"No…But-no ten minutes….ten minutes isn't enough." She grips my hands hard, like she was never going to let go. It made me feel warm.

Mattie appeared next to us, looking sympathetically at Carmilla's face. "I'm sorry sis, I tried but that's all she would give. You have four minutes left." She tells me and walks away.

"Four minutes…four minutes- How can we only have four minutes? How is that fair? How is this entire situation fair?! This wasn't supposed to happen….not to you….I can't lose you, Laura. Four minutes is not enough time for us." Carm rambled on, becoming more and more hysterical after each word that came out of her mouth.

"Hey, hey, hey," I try to console her, get her to look at me and listen. I cup her chin in my hand, forcing her eyes to look at mine. Fresh tears pour from them.

"I know it's not enough time, it will never be enough time, but it's what we have and we have to do something with it. This is our time, and we need to make it enough."

"I'm going to miss you so much." She chokes out.

"I know," I tell her. "I'm going to miss you too. I'm never going to stop. I love you." I pull her in for one final kiss. My eyes close.

* * *

Then suddenly I don't feel her lips on mine anymore. I open them to see darkness. It's pitch black and lonely. I crouch down to what I assume is the ground. I hear cries of anguish surround me but I can't see anyone.

Suddenly it's not as lonely, when Mattie appears. She crouches down and sits next to me.

"This is where I wait for her." She tells me, I keep my head forward.

"One day, her time will be up too, and this is where she'll come. And until she does we'll both sit here waiting for her."

* * *

 **Yup. That was that. IDK if you guys will find it heartbreaking, but if you do, I've done my job. TBH I was getting so into it, I kinda started to tear up writing it. Eh whatever, I'm just a sap. I have writer's block right now for A Most Peculiar Girl so I'm taking a short break, but the next chapter will be up soon.**

 **So, until then, peace**

 **-Ted**


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